“Dating” means something very different in Vancouver than it does in many other cities and cultures. When you arrive in Vancouver, it can be hard to know the rules of the dating game.
It's important to learn a bit about the
local culture before you go out with someone, so dating in Vancouver will be exciting and fun, not disastrous!
Asking Someone Out
It's not unheard of for a woman to ask a guy out, although it's usually the man who does the asking. Dating in Vancouver is pretty casual – asking someone “What are you up to on Friday night?” and inviting them to do something like
see a movie is generally the norm.
Many women in Vancouver expect the guy to pick up the tab, and most men will offer. Some women want to be independent and will insist on paying half, or even covering the entire bill, especially if they asked the man out. Once you've had a few dates, it's acceptable to take turns paying, or to go “Dutch” - splitting the bill down the middle.
Seeing Each Other...Dating Exclusively...What Should I Say?
Dating terminology can seem like an entirely different language, foreign and complicated. First of all, it's normal for men and women to be friends with no romantic involvement. So, if someone you've met asks you to grab a drink, don't automatically think it's a date.
Here is how the
Vancouver dating process usually works:
Step 1 - When you're first getting to know someone, you say you are “dating” or “seeing each other”. In Vancouver, it's acceptable for people to date more than one person at a time, as long as they haven't talked about being exclusive (only dating each other).
Seeing each other may last anywhere from a few weeks to a few months, but generally people take their relationship to a more serious level at around the three month mark.
Vancouverites have become accustomed to dating very casually, and like to meet a number of people and have fun before they commit! In Vancouver, the casual dating process is seen as kind of a "trial period." Both people are learning more about each other, but are also keeping their distance in case things don't work out.
Step 2 - A couple is not boyfriend and girlfriend until they have had “the talk.” In many other cultures it's a given that when you date someone for awhile, they are your girlfriend or boyfriend – not so in Vancouver. Couples discuss the relationship and where it's going, and agree to refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend.
Other useful dating terminology:
› PDA's: These refer to Public Displays of Affection, and Vancouverites are not very comfortable openly expressing their romantic feelings. While it's okay to hold hands or give your date a kiss, it's not acceptable to engage in a makeout session in a public place – it's considered tacky and rude. Let's say you find yourself at a house party in Vancouver. If you look around at the different groups of men and women, you'll probably find it hard to tell who the couples are - you won't catch many people touching or kissing in social settings.
› Friends with Benefits: A friend with benefits is someone you are having sex with, but aren't in a romantic relationship with. Both people know that it is a casual, friendly but sexual relationship with no strings attached.
By familiarizing yourself with the process of dating in Vancouver, you'll save yourself a great deal of confusion and stress, and increase the odds you'll connect with someone special.